i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
