we made out on top of his cat.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You don't make any sense
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