My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
