...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
