I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
