girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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