that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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