I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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