Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
