so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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