I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
