I need help removing her.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
where am i from again
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
