Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
