yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
