I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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