im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
