hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
