i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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