but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
