bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
