And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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