But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
