Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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