Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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