A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
