i wish peter jackson would direct porn
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
