What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
