Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Can you bring me the toilet please
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
