You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
