Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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