I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just pee around me
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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