her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
