no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
