I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Found your dick twin last night
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
