How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
