I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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