oh god the rape fog is back!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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