I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
