omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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