True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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