Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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