Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
