i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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