And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
