1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
