We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I need moral support for this bender
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
