turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
