Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
