YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
