Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
